Ex husband’s new GF wants family to cut all contact with me

Image credit: Pixabay (This is example image – Not the actual photo)

When Exes and New Relationships Collide

In a tangled web of past relationships and new romances, a divorced woman finds herself at the center of a brewing storm when her ex-husband’s new girlfriend takes issue with their ongoing friendship. Despite her attempts to maintain peace, the new girlfriend’s jealousy escalates to violence, leaving the woman questioning whether to press charges. This story resonates with anyone who’s navigated the complexities of breakups and blended families, highlighting the emotional turmoil that can arise when past and present collide. It raises thought-provoking questions about accountability, loyalty, and the lengths one might go to protect their peace.

Family Drama and Conflict Resolution: A Divorced Woman’s Dilemma

A divorced woman finds herself entangled in a complex situation involving her ex-husband’s new girlfriend. The story unfolds as follows:

Background: The narrator acknowledges her role in the divorce, admitting that she was primarily at fault. Despite this, she maintains a cordial relationship with her ex-husband’s family, including his mother and sister, who have continued to check in on her after the split.
Current Relationship: The ex-husband has been dating a new girlfriend for about six months. The girlfriend, who is significantly younger, is uncomfortable with the narrator’s ongoing contact with his family, particularly given that the narrator is the ex-wife.
Family Dynamics: The narrator has spoken with her ex-husband’s family, expressing understanding if they choose to cut ties with her to maintain peace. However, they have reassured her that they will continue their relationship with her regardless of the girlfriend’s feelings.
Social Media Conflict: In response to the situation, the new girlfriend has taken to social media to air grievances about the narrator, which has led to increased tension and conflict within their social circles.
Physical Altercation: The situation escalated when the narrator encountered the couple at a bar. The girlfriend confronted her aggressively, demanding she leave. When the narrator chose to ignore her, the girlfriend physically attacked her, resulting in the narrator losing consciousness momentarily.
Legal Considerations: After the incident, the narrator declined to press charges but is now reconsidering her decision due to the girlfriend’s ongoing harassment and public posts about her. The ex-husband is pleading with her not to take legal action, promising to address the girlfriend’s behavior.

The narrator is now faced with a moral dilemma: should she file charges against the girlfriend for the physical attack, knowing that it could escalate the family drama and conflict resolution process? Despite acknowledging her own faults in the past, she questions whether pursuing legal action would make her the “asshole” in this situation.

This story highlights the complexities of family dynamics, the challenges of moving on after a divorce, and the potential for conflict resolution amidst wedding tension and personal grievances.

This is Original story from Reddit

Image credit: Pixabay (This is example image – Not the actual photo)

Story

So I’m divorced. I will freely admit that I’m most at fault for the divorce. I never should have been married, but hindsight is 20/20, as they say.

My own family is a shit show and a half. I’ve known my ex’s family for the majority of my life. When we split up, some of his family has kept in contact with me, including his mom and one of his sisters.

It’s nothing crazy, but we grab a drink from time to time, and his mom just checks in to see how I’m doing. Knowing how my family is, she worries about me even though I tell her not to. We split a few years ago, and the divorce was final more than a year and a half ago.

Despite me being the asshole in my marriage, my ex doesn’t have any crazy bitterness, and we have a decent relationship now. In the years since we split, he’s never had an issue with his family staying in contact with me. I know for sure because I’ve asked.

Enter new GF. They’ve been together for 6 months or so. She’s 27, and he’s sneaking up on 40.

Not that big of a deal, but she’s not a fan of the fact that he’s been married before. Actually, I’m the second ex-wife. As they’ve gotten more serious, she’s taken extreme exception to the fact that his mom and sister, in particular, still keep in contact with me.

I’m petty and laughed my ass off the first time she came at me about it all. Privately, I talked with his mom and sister, though, and told them I totally understand if they need to cut contact to keep the peace. They assured me that they do what they want to do and not what the girlfriend of a hot minute demands.

Since I am still in contact with them, she’s taken the mature approach of posting all my misdeeds on social media. Some of which have impacts on people that don’t deserve it. Well, maybe deserve it a little, but in any case, it’s rocking a lot of boats.

Three weeks ago, I was out with friends at a bar. New GF was there with the ex. She was livid and demanded I leave immediately.

I gave the appropriate response and laughed, turned around, and continued my conversation. She proceeded to hit me from behind and smashed my head into the bar top. I lost consciousness for a few, and when I came to, she was being pulled away, and cops were being called.

I declined charges at the time but was told if I change my mind to contact them. So since she’s being petty and posting everything about me, I’m thinking maybe those charges sound a whole lot better.

My ex is begging me not to, saying he will rein her in and get her to stop, but man, I want to pull the trigger now and just do it. As I’ve admitted, I’m not the good guy in this story.

But am I the asshole if I do file charges against this girl?

View the Original Reddit Post Here

Summary of Reddit Comments

The top Reddit comments reveal a strong consensus around the verdict of NTA (Not the A) due to the clear acknowledgment of the assault and the need for accountability. Most users agree that pressing charges is essential to address the dangerous behavior of the individual in question, emphasizing the importance of taking action to protect oneself and prevent further harassment.

Verdict: NTA

Expert Advice for Resolving the Conflict

Conflict resolution in family dynamics, especially post-divorce, can be challenging. Here are some practical steps for both the narrator and the ex-husband’s girlfriend to consider, aimed at fostering understanding and reducing tension.

For the Narrator:

Document Everything: Keep a detailed record of any incidents involving the girlfriend, including dates, times, and descriptions of events. This documentation can be crucial if you decide to pursue legal action.
Consider Legal Action: Given the physical assault, it may be wise to consult with a legal professional to understand your options. Pressing charges can serve as a deterrent and establish boundaries.
Communicate with Ex-Husband: Have an open and honest conversation with your ex-husband about your feelings and concerns. Express your need for support and discuss how he can help mediate the situation with his girlfriend.
Set Boundaries: Clearly define your boundaries with the ex-husband’s family and the girlfriend. Communicate what behaviors are unacceptable and what you expect moving forward.
Seek Support: Consider talking to a therapist or counselor to process your feelings about the situation and gain strategies for coping with the stress and emotional turmoil.

For the Girlfriend:

Reflect on Feelings: Take time to understand why you feel threatened by the narrator’s relationship with your boyfriend’s family. Acknowledging these feelings can help you address them constructively.
Communicate Openly: Instead of resorting to aggression, try to have a calm conversation with your boyfriend about your feelings. Discuss your concerns and seek reassurance about your place in his life.
Seek Mediation: If possible, consider involving a neutral third party to facilitate a conversation between you and the narrator. This can help clear misunderstandings and establish a more peaceful coexistence.
Focus on Personal Growth: Engage in activities that promote self-esteem and confidence. Building your own identity outside of the relationship can help reduce feelings of insecurity.
Apologize and Make Amends: If you recognize that your actions were inappropriate, consider reaching out to the narrator to apologize. Acknowledging your behavior can be a significant step toward resolution.

Conclusion

Conflict resolution requires effort from both sides. By taking proactive steps, both the narrator and the girlfriend can work towards a more peaceful and respectful relationship, ultimately benefiting everyone involved.